The Path to Positive Self-Concept
Over the past three decades, psychologists have placed huge emphasis on the importance of having a positive self concept. Rightly so! How we feel about ourselves may be the single most important factor affecting how motivated we are to succeed in school, the types of friends we select, the person we marry, etc.
Due to its undisputed importance, people have spent tremendous energy trying different approaches to give kids good self-concepts. Listed below are just a few of the many tactics that have created selfish kids rather than ones with a good sense of self:
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Constant praise
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Ensuring that they are always the center of attention
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Making sure that they never encounter any hardships
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Buying them everything they want
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Rescuing them from the consequences of their misbehavior
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Setting no limits so they can "express their own creativity"
There's only one approach that really works, and it's based on the following age-old truism:
The best way to feel good is to do something good.
When parents place a high emphasis on good and respectful behavior, children look at themselves and think, "I act pretty darn good and responsible. I must be pretty darn good and responsible."
True self-concept is developed when children encounter struggles, are taught how to overcome these struggles, and see themselves acting in respectful and responsible ways. Stated quite simply, self-concept is an inside job.
- Dr. Charles Fay, 2007 - Love and Logic, Inc.
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